Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I am spending my child support on dildos
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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