cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
