you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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