i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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