its not stalking. its research.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
