Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
