you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
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She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
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