It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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