Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
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