I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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