Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
