I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
