Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
