Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
