You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Randomize
