It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Never underestimate the power of titties
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