Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Randomize
