dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
No stitches, just platelets and will power
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
