If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
