Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
