Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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