i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
