dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
It's rum buckets o'clock
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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