Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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