Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
You need Xanax blowdarts
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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