I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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