watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
