and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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