so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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