she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
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