i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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