His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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