Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Randomize
