Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
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idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
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Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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