theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
