would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
