omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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