There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
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