she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
