i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
