Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
