My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
where are my eyebrows?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
