Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
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