Texts From Last Night

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  (720): View more from Colorado

  Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.

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  (720): Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight. http://tfl.nu/wlf9
  Replies (37) Good night (8145) Bad night (766)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.

  (1-610): View more from Pennsylvania

  who'd you have sex with.

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  (610): terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions. (1-610): who'd you have sex with. http://tfl.nu/97tl
  Replies (12) Good night (2315) Bad night (4252)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."

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  (301): I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free." http://tfl.nu/6sne
  Replies (15) Good night (910) Bad night (4730)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?

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  (703): Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning? http://tfl.nu/g5lh
  Replies (4) Good night (1858) Bad night (5154)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.

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  (402): Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown. http://tfl.nu/l3ul
  Replies (49) Good night (2374) Bad night (5419)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.

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  (203): Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag. http://tfl.nu/t9ek
  Replies (7) Good night (1016) Bad night (1393)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.

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  (443): i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died. http://tfl.nu/tald
  Replies (6) Good night (547) Bad night (1153)
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  (563): View more from Iowa

  However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.

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  (563): However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure. http://tfl.nu/rbiy
  Replies (4) Good night (512) Bad night (1016)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.

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  (616): Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy. http://tfl.nu/lqb9
  Replies (5) Good night (1398) Bad night (608)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.

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  (602): When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises. http://tfl.nu/mg1c
  Replies (6) Good night (1114) Bad night (421)
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  (+64): View more from New Zealand

  Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.

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  (+64): Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed. http://tfl.nu/dscf
  Replies (0) Good night (625) Bad night (305)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground

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  (314): Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground http://tfl.nu/k9yg
  Replies (1) Good night (426) Bad night (308)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard

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  (775): She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard http://tfl.nu/1o8s
  Replies (5) Good night (350) Bad night (901)
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  (857): View more from Massachusetts

  Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years

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  (857): Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years http://tfl.nu/6jcz
  Replies (1) Good night (608) Bad night (394)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.

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  (818): I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole. http://tfl.nu/w948
  Replies (1) Good night (331) Bad night (629)

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