Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
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Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
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Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.