I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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