Texts From Last Night

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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!

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  (732): wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative! http://tfl.nu/b5c4
  Replies (67) Good night (6996) Bad night (1129)
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.

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  (636): A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it. http://tfl.nu/t9xf
  Replies (31) Good night (20551) Bad night (1688)
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  (716): View more from New York

  Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen

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  (716): Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen http://tfl.nu/h1qo
  Replies (10) Good night (1371) Bad night (4824)
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  (469): View more from Texas

  Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.

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  (469): Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way. http://tfl.nu/w8yo
  Replies (23) Good night (1007) Bad night (5428)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...

  (1-918): View more from Oklahoma

  there were a lot.

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  (918): thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am... (1-918): there were a lot. http://tfl.nu/x7ld
  Replies (29) Good night (6644) Bad night (1207)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.

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  (416): Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend. http://tfl.nu/lag5
  Replies (9) Good night (5616) Bad night (1242)
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  (361): View more from Texas

  I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character

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  (361): I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character http://tfl.nu/1uae
  Replies (8) Good night (3699) Bad night (1170)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet

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  (719): He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet http://tfl.nu/3sfp
  Replies (7) Good night (2887) Bad night (974)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.

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  (904): Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple. http://tfl.nu/t444
  Replies (13) Good night (966) Bad night (1037)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...

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  (317): His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip... http://tfl.nu/pj0o
  Replies (7) Good night (1788) Bad night (963)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I guess, just don't make it awkward

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY

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  (978): I guess, just don't make it awkward (603): MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY http://tfl.nu/y6gk
  Replies (10) Good night (806) Bad night (1552)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment

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  (781): Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment http://tfl.nu/se99
  Replies (4) Good night (1804) Bad night (583)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.

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  (612): I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps. http://tfl.nu/1h6s
  Replies (4) Good night (1778) Bad night (401)
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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss

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  (252): you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss http://tfl.nu/gf0h
  Replies (0) Good night (555) Bad night (417)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.

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  (816): He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call. http://tfl.nu/jkpw
  Replies (3) Good night (296) Bad night (709)

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