I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament