I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
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it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
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After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop