Writing my paper on freud at bar
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
New Dating App in Dallas For Only The Most Ambitious and Attractive Singles
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.