I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society