Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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