no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
