dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
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