Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I FOUND THE LEGS
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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