got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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