ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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