i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Let's paint friendship bongs
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
