Ambien. No doubt about it.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
