when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
