i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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