you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
